If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
