Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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