ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
