don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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