I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
