i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
