The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
