Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
