No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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