FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
