Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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