If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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