I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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