Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
