I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
