There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
