I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You ruined the universe
Randomize
