i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
not ubering you a puppy
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
