I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Congratulations! We have a period
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
