By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
