i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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