i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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