kristin has been a bad kristin
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
