How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Randomize
