i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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