All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
