Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
