Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Pooping to opera.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
