Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
These tits shall not be calmed
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