how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
