Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Pants are for mortals
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
