okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well I just put wine in my tea
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
