Your face is a jimmy john
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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