some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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