She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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