let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
