She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
