I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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