it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think your dad took our porno
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
