last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
