I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
