he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
