it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
