Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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