There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
