I wish I could punch you in the face.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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