My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize
