Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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