Screwed.edu
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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