Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
