It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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