My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
