I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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