well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just pee around me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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