So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize