I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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