I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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