i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
